Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
