community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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