i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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