just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
