i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
