Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
