i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
