He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
