Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
