If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
