Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
