Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you win again, gameday.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
