:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
