You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
