Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
