People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
