were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
