Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
