How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
