You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
