There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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