Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
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the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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