Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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