She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
