But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
