i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
