I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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