2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm always down for nudity.
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