proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
