Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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