Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
