so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
