no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
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He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
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gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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