At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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