glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
