after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
