is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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