I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize