Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
