Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
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