Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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