Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
