I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
