So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
