how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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