In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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