I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
