Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
