when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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