I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
