btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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