and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
