That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
