I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
