If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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