my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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